Thankful!

K'vetch, k'vetch, k'vetch!  I've done more than my share of complaining and most would not describe me as a complainer.  Did you know complaining is a sin?  I don't really stop and think about it when I'm doing it, at least I didn't use to.  For the past several months, and I've still had a few slips, but guarding what I say has taken real priority.  Swearing wasn't that big of a problem for me.  Even as a heathen, I didn't have a large four letter vocabulary, just a couple of stand-bys, which quickly went by the wayside when I confessed Y'hshuwah Messiah.  I see fellow believers type words on social media walls that I didn't say as an unbeliever.  This isn't about the vocabulary choices of others.  Understanding that coarse language and blessings could not come out of the same mouth seemed obvious.  Abba gave me victory over my four letter vocabulary very quickly.

My ability to verbalize dissatisfaction wasn't even considered to be a problem.  Now, I'm not suggesting that Abba didn't have a problem with it, as a matter of fact, the fact that I discounted complaining created two problems.  One, He was not happy to hear my complaints and two, I didn't have ears to hear what I was really doing.  This was not an easy understanding in which to come.  I honestly thought expressing some of my dissatisfaction was questioning myself, not complaining to our Creator.  I honestly believed when things didn't happen as expected, I'd missed the plan . . .  I was honestly, wrong!  This isn't about little annoyances and unexpected hindrances like spots on the carpet or dead batteries in winter.  I mean big life events that seem to be unfolding in the wrong direction or not unfolding at all!

I remember the first year of homesteading, when I was going to raise young wethers to sell as meat goats.  In the calamity that ensued, as nearly losing the entire herd, I discovered in Torah, I was not to alter the animals as they had been created.  It's not in my nature to do a great deal of complaining.  When things go wrong, I usually go the Instructions.  When I can't find the solution there, I go to the Author.  What I didn't realize was my attitude when I went boldly before the Throne of grace.  Sometimes what I called boldly, Abba saw as complaining and complaining is disrespect to Him.  He inhabits our praise!

Even though we may not identify what we are doing as complaining, and we have some sort of euphemism, our word is not final!  We are never to be complacent, but we do not always have to be striving, either.  Being thankful and giving praise for what we do have and understand is highly overlooked, even by the most spiritual among us.  Constantly analyzing and looking for the special revelation is just tiresome!  Most of us are always thinking, but we have a choice as to what we focus our thought on.  "What ifs" and "whys" can actually be a lack of faith, in that we are promised to be given the right words or the strength when we need it.  We are also told that someday it will all be made clear, so meanwhile, we walk by faith not by sight.

Even if everything hasn't fallen into place as first envisioned, there is always something for which to be thankful . . . Forgiveness for complaining comes to mind.

He Hears When We Aren't Praying

As I prepared for Shemitah, I truly tried to keep things in perspective.  I didn't want to get caught up in the "bigger barns" mentality, nor in the "G-d will provide, do nothing" mentality.  I'm seeing so much "faith talk" as of late, of folks getting back on that bandwagon of telling G-d what His Word says and how it is to be fulfilled in their lives.  That scares me!  They sound like my kids used to when they'd say, "But Mom, you said . . ." usually out of context and always in poor timing.  Yet I digress, I have good news to share.

I gave that little intro, because praying properly has always concerned me.  I want to be respectful, without formality, if that makes sense.  As of late, it seems I'm learning more about prayer, every time I pray.  I've also learned a bit about what He hears when I'm not praying . . .

All summer, I truly enjoyed my tomatoes.  I kept in mind, there would be no fresh ones this coming year.  I've spoken many times over as to how much I truly enjoy my fresh garden produce and how much I will miss it for a year.  It's not like I'm going without food, but fresh is wonderful, so as my garden wound down this autumn there was a note of sad obedience.  I know, it sounds dramatic, and it was in a way, but I didn't whine to Abba, just kind shrugged my shoulders and harvested the last of the peppers and green tomatoes before the frost.  I can't remember if it was the end of October or the beginning of November, but it's been several weeks.

In speaking and sharing with friends about Shemitah, that although I won't be having a garden next year, we can eat what the land produces naturally.  I've mentioned more than once, that it wouldn't hurt my feelings if Abba brought forth a volunteer tomato vine.  I would absolutely refrain from tending it . . . other than to pick the red ones.  I have no idea what next spring will bring, but I have an awesome praise report, here as the end of December approaches!

 

December 3

 I'm still enjoying ripe tomatoes.  The green ones that were harvested before the frost continue to ripen all this time later.  None have rotted, but the number is dwindling.  They are just as juicy and fresh as the summer harvest was.  This is a first to enjoy fresh pico de gallo in December with homegrown juicy tomatoes!  What an amazing blessing from our Heavenly Father.  This is a blessing far beyond what I would have asked or imagined.

December 21