Trial and Error

This post is serious and contains plenty of stupidity, but no humor . . .
I promised at the beginning of this blog that I would not only offer great suggestions, but also try to help someone avoid some pitfalls. Here's one that I hope will save someone from any part of the huge mistake I made. This has probably been my biggest and worst experience of homesteading. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!
It was tricky and not everything was unpleasant, it got my hopes up high, high above the discernment I'd been given. Even though it wasn't all bad, the good was never as enjoyable as the bad was regretful. It was simply all very serpentine. It went on for about a year and now in looking back, I of course, have regrets. My last book received extreme reviews. Either people loved it or hated it, and I got feed back from both opinions.
Knowing I intended to share this community work with others, I was very excited when I began receiving feedback from someone very unexpected, who had given rave reviews of my book.
Mistake 1. Flattery can be deceiving and build up false hopes, which is really nothing more than pride on my part . . . Mistake 2. Mixing plans I'd had as an unbeliever with hopes as a child of G-d. Mistake 3. Refusing to look at all the signs of reality. Mistake 4. Presuming presumption for faith and hoping continual debate would become fellowship.
Wrong, wrong, wrong on all counts.
So, now in the aftermath of it all, I'm looking at this year's Sukkot and realizing how much I missed and how much heartache I endured, by doing what I did last year. Sukkot is the Feast of Tabernacles, and this year it will be just G-d and me at this location. HE'll be present in other gatherings, but I'll be home alone. It's the Holy Week in the fall in which you basically "camp out." There are as many versions and interpretations of the details as there are people, but the basic concept is to live very simply, under the stars for a week.
I have a saying about the NEON WARNING SIGN being blocked from view by all the RED FLAGS! Now I'll share a few low lights to illustrate the neon signs blocked by red flags . . .
First and foremost, even the people that came didn't stay for the entire week. They came after the first day, which is one of the two designated gathering days, then left before the last one. But while they graced me with their presence, this individual had the audacity to to prefer to stay in my home, while I stayed outdoors, because in their words to me, "Your house is like camping . . ." Ah, the fellowship had begun. In celebration of this community beginning to take shape, plans had been made to "kill the fatted calf." I sent some of the meat home with these folks and later got to hear how much better their beef was than what I had provided for the celebration. Now, their beef was also on my place, but processed three months later. So, that was a fun report to smile through, as well. What I realized was, I kept pouring valuable time into what turned out to be only a passing fancy for this individual and I had that feeling, at the time! That's the heartbreak for me. I knew it, G-d had told me, and I just wanted it to be what I knew it wouldn't be, so I clung to the "fairytale" until I just had to face the truth, which I did the following spring, right before Passover. Now this person wasn't done, yet, but I was. I think the saddest part of what has transpired this past year is that my friend who I believe, felt a bit set to a back burner through this, has suffered a severe health situation and is no longer physically able to travel. I spent a year of my life attempting to accommodate someone who in their own words, "Wanted to want it." Someone else who had watched this, told me, "You're going to see a lot of 'tire kickers' in this project of yours." So, long story short . . . you may find yourself the object of curiosity in homesteading, or you may be just casually curious yourself. Know, going in, either way; where you stand and where you are not willing to go.